And together we learn

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The light breaking through

Thank you all SO MUCH for the encouragement and love. This is why I keep blogging, I think.

I feel like the clouds have parted and I'm me again. For a day or two there, I wasn't sure. Crazy hormone surges, perhaps, or some weird brain thing, but it was scary for a bit. I couldn't stop crying all day long, and couldn't get a single thing done. It took me until 3 in the afternoon to take out my kitchen garbage. I'd go in there, look at it, pace a little and sob, then go back to just sitting. It was a very very weird time. I knew, rationally, that there were dozens of people who would have been more than happy to come over and help me out, but admitting to needing help seemed so much more than I could do. So I just cried. My sweet kids would try and kiss me and love me, and once Chloe was so delighted when I smiled at her. OUCH!! But I couldn't make myself function. It was a bad bad bad day. Never had one quite like it.

But then I woke up yesterday, and I was me again. Like someone had turned a switch off in my brain. Sure, the aches and pains are still very much with me, but with my own brain intact it's amazing what a difference it makes in the outlook on life. I'll tell you, if that craziness had continued, I'd have marched myself straight into some kind of doctors for some serious medication! Too scary.

Anyway, my Steve comes home in a few hours. AND, too just make things more wonderful, his only sale for next week canceled, so he's home for the entire, whole, every single minute of the week!!!!! He'll be traveling the week after, but that's the last one. I'm going to make it through this. Yahoo!!!

Now if that nesting instinct would just kick in, I could start to make some headway in the many projects that need to get done before this baby comes.


4 comment(s):

I'm so glad you're feeling better. I remember those days - when I could only stare out the window and cry. The end of pregnancy stinks. Also the beginning. Sometimes the middle too. Hugs and prayers.

By Anonymous Jennifer, at 8:08 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

By Blogger Jemily, at 10:25 PM  

I love you Becca! I am so sorry this week was so hard. I wish I had felt some sudden urge to run to your house on Thursday and relieve you of at least some of the sadness weighing you down - at least give you hugs and take your kids for a while...You are an amazing woman and I truly, truly mean that.

By Blogger Jemily, at 10:27 PM  

I'm glad you're thinking better if not feeling better! I hear you on all the pregancy aches and pains. I hurt everywhere! I don't know how we're going to make it through these last few weeks but we will.

By Blogger The Lazy Organizer, at 6:59 PM  

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