And together we learn

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Depressed

This is not going to be a very fun or clever post. I'm in one of those funks right now, and I'm having a hard time shaking it. Steve is done traveling next Tuesday, so I'll get him home, finally. I think that's the biggest thing right now. The cumulative effect of months of doing this parenting thing largely solo. That there is never ever anyone here to share the responsibility of these kids. Well, that's not entirely true. Steve is usually home about 24 hours a week, so there is that break. But I'm just tired. And I want to be able to actually leave the house all by myself. Not trying to juggle all the kids and naptimes and mealtimes and trying to stay cheerful.

This is so depressing. I hope no one is reading, but I have to just vent someplace!! I been crying for a few days now. I know I just have to snap out of it, but saying that is a lot easier than doing it. All I have to do is make it through a few more days, then Steve will come home, we'll all recharge our batteries, and be ready to face the semester again in late January.

I shouldn't even be complaining at all. He's the one who is every day in a different city, eating all his meals in crappy restaurants, and always always on the go. I really have it easy, but I'm just burned out lately.

So there is my silly little bit of sadness. I'll be over it soon, I promise!

6 comment(s):

*Hugs*
I could tell you we all go through a bit of a funk every now and then, but THAT isn't going to make it all ok for you. Maybe it will help to know that I'm thinking warm thoughts and hoping you are feeling happier soon.

By Blogger theotherbear, at 1:41 PM  

I found your blog through Amanda's.

I understand how you feel. My hubby is in grad school right now and working full time. We've been pushed to that "breaking point" too.

I know you feel selfish because you don't think your life is as stressful. Just remember that you're the glue holding everything together at home and that's just as important It's lonely...very lonely running the house alone, but at least it's showing you how strong you can be!

Hold on tight and hopefully you'll get some relief in the near future! :)

By Blogger Suzanne, at 2:05 PM  

Oh, Becca...I wish I could have been more help to you in the last little while! I'm so sorry to hear you've been down (and I didn't even know it!).
If you'd be willing to drive down here every other week...we could work out a kids play/mom goes out alone swap. We could switch off houses every week. That would get our kids playing and give us (every two weeks) a few hours of alone-time to go shopping/bookstore/whatever. Let's talk about it.
By the way...is it ok if we ALL show up Friday night? Is it still on?
We love you....lots of people do...don't forget how much so many of us care for you!

By Anonymous Sarah, at 2:53 PM  

I just stumbled on your blog this evening, and boy, do I feel the same way you do! It's hard to be with the kids 24/. The other night, I had choir practice for X-mas eve, while dh had another night time meeting (and he's not even the bishop!). I got a sitter, and magnanimously, dh said "hey, just go whatever you want after your practice." What I want to do is get a pedicure or a massage, not open at 8:30 pm!!! Thx for letting me vent on your blog :)

By Blogger jlk, at 3:28 PM  

Becca we all have been there. I dont see how you do it with your husband gone so much. Your a brave woman. Sending you lots of cyber hugs!

By Blogger Mrs. Darling, at 10:24 AM  

I see from your other post that you're feeling a bit better, which is good to hear! I can really relate. I find that sometimes it helps to tell my kids, "you are all on your own for 15 minutes", and go into the kitchen with a cup of tea. Then I ignore any crying and destruction which is not life threatening, and I try to just focus on the tea or something. Also, another thing I've noticed is that in order to keep my spirits up, I must always remember to take a prenatal vitamin and flax oil every day. The flax oil has omega-3s which are supposed to help with depression, and in my case, I can really tell when I skip it.

Hang in there! You're not alone!

By Anonymous Angel, at 7:21 PM  

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