And together we learn

Not really any point to this one

I've been thinking and thinking that surely I must have something interesting to write about. But...no. My days are a merry-go-round. We have ups, we have downs, they fly by in a whirlwind.

Some moments are wonderful. I want to do nothing more than be a mommy to these precious kids. But then, mere seconds and a few tantrums later, I'm second guessing everything. What made me think I could parent? Homeschool?? Who am I kidding? There are so many more things that I'm NOT doing than I am getting done. I feel plagued with doubts about this responsibility of mine.

I talk to other moms. I know this is normal, and that overall, yes, my kids will probably not suffer lasting psychological trauma from being raised in my home. But, oh, how to silence the voices of doubt!!

I had an experience yesterday that helped me realize that I am slightly on track. And I share this not in any way showing myself superior, or judging, or anything like that, but just that this opened my eyes that for MY family, with what I want to accomplish for my kids, I'm on the right track. I went to the library with my sweet neighbor for story time. I love her, she's dear, and we get along wonderfully. But she had never been to the completely fabulous library in our neighborhood. I asked her if she went to the other one, and she admitted that they actually never went to the library. Then her kids found several Dora, Blues Clues, and Mickey Mouse books and stacks of DVD's to check out. My kids had stacks and stacks of picture books and read aloud books and honestly great stuff picked out. No twaddle.

OK. I'm really not trying to sound superior. But it was a realization that I AM doing ok at instilling a love of books and learning in my family. That is extremely important to me. I'm truly not trying to be all prideful, but I did feel better about my inadequacies. And to give her the credit she definitely deserves, her house is darling, very clean, very organized, and her kids rooms are oh, so decorated. All things that mine are NOT!!!

It's all a trade-off, I suppose. Since I can't do everything, I'll focus on the things that matter the most to me, and hope that in the end, these kids turn out ok.

Labels: random

posted by Becca at 8:23 PM